Have you ever had a dream that you knew was a sign from the universe?
I rarely remember my dreams, but when I do, I usually notice a clue or a sign in some abstract form. It’s happened so often that when I wake up and remember a dream, I immediately try to pay attention and see what message it holds for me.
A few months back (on vacation of all places) I had an argument with my mom.
It was one of those ‘pop the cork’ moments. Where we were going back and forth over the words that were used in a conversation we recently had with my dad. Both of us protecting our own side of the story and overlooking the other person's point of view - something me and my mom have always been good at doing.
But this time, she really popped the cork. And I let it all spill. Probably in a harsher way than I should have. We both argued, we both cried, and we both went to bed in a terrible mood. Tired, angry, and upset at each other.
That night, I had a dream. It was like I was reliving our argument all over again, but this time my moms voice was muffled so I couldn’t hear what she was saying, instead of listening to her I noticed this big beautiful dog in the room.
He was standing right between us, this silvery-grey lab, with big blue eyes that took my breath away. Looking at him I immediately felt his love, compassion, and beauty when as I looked at him and his big blue eyes.
If you’re a dog owner, you probably already know that look of unconditional love. That holds no judgment against you and accepts you as you are. That’s the way this dog was staring at me. Like he loved me unconditionally, throughout this whole experience, despite my anger and my flaws. It felt like a beautiful and surreal moment. And I knew just by looking at this animal that I loved him just as much. His greyness and all.
As he just stood between us both in the middle of our argument, that’s when I realized something important. I realized that I failed to admire the shades of grey.
The awareness that no one is quite right or quite wrong. And that nothing is as black and white as it seems.
Now, whenever I have an argument, I picture this grey-silver lab. I see his soft blue eyes filled with love staring at me, and I recall the beauty of him, greyness and all.
This vision alone brings me peace. It has helped me shift my reaction to things instead of directly reacting to the conflict, I stop and admire the greyness. And I remind myself that behind that greyness is just unconditional love.
Through this visual, I see the beauty behind it. For it's this dogs shades of grey that makes him so unique and beautiful.
There is beauty in our differences.
As I stare and admire his grey-silver fur, and I look into the labs light blue eyes, and see the love pouring through him and I know that his intentions are good. And I remind myself that beneath every shaded surface there is only pure love.
Behind the shades of grey is only pure love.
It has taught me to look at every argument, every disagreement and dispute from this angle. Now when I have a disagreement with someone close to me, I picture the silver lab in the room. His greyness is so fascinating that it can only be admired in a moment of silence. Just a moment of silence is sometimes all we need. Just a moment imagining this beautiful animal staring back at me and I feel an overwhelm of love take over me.
This dream has taught me to acknowledge the shades of grey in all situations. And the importance of stopping to observe its beauty and connecting to it's true source, love. Unconditional and ever flowing love.
This is just one of the ways I find helps bring more understanding to occasional disagreements. And makes me aware of my “black and white thinking”. Instead of saying “let’s agree to disagree”, which can sound a bit egotistical. Why not try saying, “Lets try to understand our differences” or “let’s agree to acknowledge each others feelings”. Whichever comes easier to say. It’s a better way to let go of an argument and find common ground.
Will finding the shades of grey be easy?
Sometimes, not likely.
But when we do our best to look for the grey in all situations, we begin to understand others better and remind ourselves that there is beauty in our differences.
And have yourself a wonderful weekend.
With love & kindness,